Help for Heroes: how gaming can help us open up about our mental health

 

How gaming can help us stay connected during COVID-19

 

Paul was quick to draw parallels between his situation and the struggles people of all walks of life are facing in the current pandemic.

 

“Everyone will be able to relate to this in a way - the fact that COVID has done it to all of us, we’ve been isolated from who we normally spend our time with...The social aspect that we need in our lives to keep our mind on track.

 

When it all disappeared and you’re at home alone, and all you’ve got is your own mind to unwind and play tricks on you, because it does, no doubt we’ve all been there, where we’re making a situation that we think has all gone against us. When actually it’s gone a completely different way to how we see it.”

 

Many of us are struggling with mental health issues such as stress and anxiety at the moment. Financial hardship and insecurity are compounding these issues - particularly in the face of worrying headlines about the state of the charity sector, and a potential lack of funds leading to closures and lay-offs. This is only exacerbated by the loss of our normal way of life, and difficulty accessing our usual support systems.

 

Digital can provide us all with a way of staying connected. For Paul, and many others like him, gaming is providing a lifeline - a way of reaching out to friends, colleagues, and even strangers to get the human connection that we need to survive. In gaming, Paul was able to recapture the feelings of kinship and camaraderie that many veterans struggle to find after ending their military careers.

 

 

How gaming helps people open up

 

“Obviously, six months to a year, two years is a long time to be sat in bed… I didn’t want my mind to get the better of me again.

 

I already played games anyway. I carried on playing my computer, I got online and I got a lot more into it. I met a friend, a gamer who does streaming for a living… We just sat there talking to each other. I helped him get through his troubles, he helped listen to me while I went through my troubles. Some of my military community friends did the same.

 

It got me through some very hard times, where probably I wouldn’t have, where without Help for Heroes I wouldn’t have got through. But the gaming side certainly helped me keep my mind focused, occupied, keep me socialising. Because I’m not a person who can pick up a phone, I’m not a person who will just send a message off the bounce, that’s just not who I am. But I can soon pick up a game, play the game. The game sort of distracts me where I can just open up and talk.”

 

There’s a lot to this. Suicide is the biggest killer of young men in this country. Many campaigns, such as Heads Up, that are trying to fight this, and remove the stigma around opening up about your mental health, are realising that many men struggle to open up. We’re not taught how.

 

But by doing something we’re already comfortable doing, such as playing games or watching a football match with a friend, we can find it easier to open up. It’s not as intimidating when there is a focal point to the conversation.

 

“I can’t sit there with some of my closest friends in the military, that are my brothers now, and sit there over a table and just look at each other face to face and have a chat. But as soon as you pick up the controller… you don’t have to put a big beacon on it going ‘I’m coming round to talk and help you out, I know you’re in a bad place’. I’m coming round to enjoy a game of football while just airing it out and just knowing that you’re there listening to each other.

 

It just takes the edge of it… It makes it more acceptable in your mind.

 

It’s almost like an aid to get you to talk. It assists you.”

 

 

The Hero Up initiative

 

Recently, due to COVID-19, Help for Heroes launched Hero Up - an online fundraising initiative. Paul was keen to get involved and to help raise funds for an organisation that had offered him so much support. The digital fundraising initiative allowed the charity to replace traditional fundraising strategies, such as a sponsored walk, with something that could be done in the midst of a pandemic.

 

“Volunteering is quite powerful for me. It puts me around positive people doing good things for a better cause than just money or value. It’s got something social about it. If people want to volunteer, and do good and give back, it’s really empowering and it’s quite special really.”

 

As gaming had helped him in his recovery, Paul started a gaming team. Although gaming provided him with a focus, he still needed social interaction, and playing online with friends and others in his military community provided that.

 

“I’m a firm believer that when you get to a point in life where you’re happy - when you’ve got through your own battles, to turn back around to help other people… I wanted to give my life purpose.”

 

 

Creating a safe gaming community

 

I asked Paul whether it was easier to talk to someone who had been through similar experiences. He paused for a while and then raised the point that for some of us, it can be easier to open up to a stranger.

“Sometimes, talking to a complete stranger who won’t judge you can help too.”

 

Gaming offers an opportunity for both, and Paul has been there for all manner of people during the last few months - friends, military veterans and strangers alike - ready to listen and offer support on his live stream.

A number of charities operate hotlines, where people who are struggling with mental health can phone in and talk to someone. We’re seeing a rise in the use of chatbots for these purposes. But what about the people that, like Paul, find it hard to open up without a focal point to the conversation? Gaming offers a way of reaching them.

 

“Military network aside, most people I game with I’ve never met. But we support each other still.

You’ve already got things in common. One, you’re both on the computer. Two, you’re playing the same game.”

But there are a number of risks involved. Paul offered advice on mitigating these. They used Discord to create a safe online space where people felt comfortable opening up.

 

“You can’t just join. You can’t just get in it. You have to be invited into it. So it’s safe.

 

We’ve got a very safe place where people can talk - where people can open up and be there for each other. It’s a platform that can help any charity be there for their beneficiaries… a safe platform where they can talk about what they want to do, how they want to do it or how they want to help.

 

All of us who play games often, we’ve all been there. There are toxic people out there. I didn’t even know what that meant until I started gaming. There are people out there who just want to be abusive and just want to mess up people’s day.

 

Having that safe space protects people from that - especially if they’re vulnerable.”

 

 

On getting started

 

It’s very easy to do. As long as someone’s got a computer, and you don’t even actually need a computer, there are so many games on your phone, you can do it on your tablet.

 

It literally is as simple as turning a computer on, loading up a game and having a voice chat. Even on the Playstation if you don’t want the whole game to hear you, you can mute everybody else…. Or you can go into a private Playstation party and talk and network.

 

We had a meeting the other day, while we were playing Call of Duty we were talking about the next steps for the charity event.

 

We’re very much learning on our feet. My favourite line is ‘I’m winging it’.

 

Each day we adapt and we just do the best we can. We talk to each other.

 

It’s about asking the people around you ‘is this working?’”

 

Plans for the future

 

“I want it to become a recovery pathway… We’re in this support network: we’re safe, we’re looked after. If we have a bad day or we have a wobble we’re alright.

 

But for the future and for people that are serving now, that are going through their career and don’t realise that their career is going to end yet, and don’t realise how sharp that cliff drop is, it’s having that support network of people who like gaming, who can use gaming,

 

People are going to need Help for Heroes forever. There’s no doubt there are going to be more conflicts in our lifetime.... It’s [about] having that network there that when people come here we have an open community and they can just jump right in and be part of it.

 

I want it to become a recovery pathway so that people can reach out and get help via gaming.”

 

 

Advice for other charities

 

“It’s hard to fundraise right now. Hero Up has given people a platform: it’s given people a purpose. Even with COVID-19, even if you’re not military-oriented… Hero Up gives people a direct link into the military community to raise money and to raise awareness.

 

It’s a brilliant platform. It’s even got a competitive leaderboard - but in a healthy way. Because we’re all doing it for the same cause.

 

The good thing about Hero Up, and about gaming, is that it’s got a bit of a competitive side to it where you want to go again - you want to earn more money, you want to get the message out there.

 

This country has got very generous people who are willing to give their money, who are willing to give their time, give their expertise so that people like me and the beneficiaries and our band of brothers and our community get the help they need.

 

No-one needs to go it alone. That’s the message.”